DND Blog

A place to keep DND session recaps, from various campaigns.

The Hundredth Session

March 30, 2024, Campaign: As the ground quakes, evil wakes

After extensive planning, we search around and find the location of the Thieves' Guild base, and throw out the plans. Bugfood's sister Miranda is extracted from her cell, and then we roll Plan A: Percival the Stoat Seller. This allows us to bypass a couple of fights, and cut direct to the Big Bad fight against the entire Thieves' Guild, whom we splatter across their underground lair.

Table of Contents

  1. Last session
  2. In Maltese McGuffin's Magnificent Mansion
  3. The Next Day
    1. Preparing the Stoat Scam
    2. Bugfood's Flying Sister Stumble
  4. Into the Hole
    1. The Stoat Play
    2. Selling Stoats
  5. Next session

Last session

Bugfood's sister has gone missing, and the Party has come to the southwest end of the continent to help. After raiding the Thieves' Guild camp near Maymoor, we learned that the local temple of Umberlee is in cahoots with the Thieves' Guild.

The Party learned some bits of Thieves' Cant from the Thieves' bartender, Maddie. We also met up with "Maltese McGuffin", aka Alistair Byron, who is Percival's formerly-assumed-deceased grandfather.

In Maltese McGuffin's Magnificent Mansion

Maltese McGuffin has just announced that he's Percival's long-lost grandfather, Alistair Reynolds. He beams at Percival.

Percival, checking his intuition, thinks that this is actually Alistair.

They banter about the Vest of Many Things. It gave Percival two almonds! But now Percival pops open a pocket, at Alistair's instruction, and finds a Pearl of Nourishment. Alistair is smug, because it is, after all, his Vest of Many Things, and he knows what's in each pocket.

Percival reveals to Alistair that Percival's father thinks Alistair is still dead, and was plotting to kidnap Percival. They catch up on Percival's recent history. Alistair is surprised to learn that Percival killed a green dragon.

Alistair's Magnificent Mansion is like a hunting lodge, with about 30 people milling about. The people are all refugees from Maymoor. The walls are covered with trophies.

We tell Alistair about what we've been up to. Alistair calls over Howard Boarhold, who was the former lumberyard foreman. Boarhold says that they sent out crews to log particular areas, and up until a couple months ago, everything seemed to be fine. Then an entire crew was "scattered", and only two came back — at first. The two who returned said that when they felled trees, the trees would explode, appear above them, and fall again. One of the loggers fell down and disappeared.

That's when the rumors began about people disappearing in the woods. They found shards of obsidian pumice in the area. Someone got cut by it and vanished. Howard Boarhold decided to retire.

People have been having weird dreams in town since then, but people who shelter in the Magnificent Mansion are sheltered from it. Alistair says that when he first arrived, the dreams were horrific and esoteric. Meaty tentacles, eyes, teeth. An overwhelming sense of doom.

Just like Bugfood showed Jerry in her dream!

Ryltar asks if he's seen something like this Far Realms shard. Alistair examines it and says that he thought that such was a myth.

Alistair decides that we can stay the night in his Mansion.

Percival goes to the people milling around and tells them stories about how we'll solve everything. With a 20 (5 on die) he makes a successful performance. He gathers half of the people sheltering in the Mansion, and awes them.

We retire to sleep inside Alistair's Mansion. Percival examines his vest to see if there's a way to determine what's in his vest: not really. There are no clues in the embroidery.

A long rest occurs.

The Next Day

We are abruptly awoken. People are shuffling around, heading towards an exit. Alistair tells us that he just needs to evict everyone so that he can renew the spell.

Preparing the Stoat Scam

It's cold outside, in the swampy woods outside Maymoor. We eat breakfast and decide to follow up on our leads:

We decide to have Percival pose as a higher-up in the religion, posing as a convert, to probe the priests to see if they're true believers.

The rest of us ….

We know that the priests are funneling goods to the Thieves' Guild, so Bugfood marks a coin to make it unique. Ryltar will throw it in the donation bin, as part of 20 gold.

But that's in the afternoon. First, we have a whole morning to kill.

Bugfood's Flying Sister Stumble

Bugfood casts Locate Person for his sister, then flies around as a Wildshaped falcon to see if he can find her.

He receives a ping, coming from under a nondescript section of partially logged-out forest. He flies back to the Party and excitedly tells us that he found her.

A falcon lands in front of the part and starts squawking and waving its wings about. We try to figure out what's going on.

He slaps his beak with his wing, and drops wildshape to explain again. We decide to go tackle that, instead of doing the subterfuge plot.

But first, Ryltar makes the donation of tracked gold to the village priests.

We go to the place that Bugfood found, and try to use the Wand of Secrets to find the entrance. There's nothing within 30 feet; the wand doesn't trigger.

Bugfood Wildshapes into a Giant Badger, and burrows in. 20 seconds later, he hits stone. He ends Wildshape. Percival Stone Shapes a hatch into the ceiling, with a stoat-shaped knocker.

As precautionary measures against detection, Percival Silences the hole, and Ryltar casts Darkness at the top of the hole.

Bugfood opens the hatch. There's a small cell with someone in it. Bugfood calls out: "Miranda! Is that you?" — but he is within the Silence.

He jumps down into the cell. The figure is a sleeping Miranda, in a 10x10 room with a stone bed. There's metal bars on one wall, revealing a small corridor.

Bugfood shakes Miranda awake. She recognizes him. He Polymorphs her into a stoat, Wildshapes himself into a falcon, and flies her out.

Percival looks around, through the hatch, and thinks he can see three more cells. He closes the hatch.

Once everyone's back topside, and returned to their original forms, we query Miranda.

She found the obsidian pumice, and then got kidnapped. "I think I got too close," she says.

The Thieves' Guild is looking for "another source."

She hasn't noticed anything weird happening with the wildlife in the area. No mutant spiders, that sort of thing.

There's one other prisoner in the cells, who she didn't recognize. The Thieves promised hurt if the prisoners were heard. She's never seen their leadership.

Bugfood sends her off to walk back to McGuffin's place.

We decide to run the Stoat Salesman gig in the Thieves' prison.

Into the Hole

Jerry assists Vurguron and his crowbar in breaking the door open, and with a 22 opens the door. 19 stealth (including Pass Without Trace) the door is removed.

We exit the cell: there are 6 cells here, and the other person is a pile of rags. We rip the door off easily (20) and stealthily (32, 24), and the person stirs.

Ryltar recognizes the person as the High Priest of Umberlee. The High Priest is 7 feet tall and emaciated, and says he was kidnapped several months ago. Ryltar saw someone masquerading as him in town yesterday. Someone brought the obsidian pumice to him, but he doesn't know what they are. He's very weak, so Percival dramatically feeds him the Bead of Nourishment, as if he was giving weirdly intimate communion wafers. The High Priest feels better. He also doesn't know anything about the key.

We send him off to McGuffin's Mansion with Miranda.

Then we do the Stoat Play.

The Stoat Play

Bugfood Polymorphs Jerry and Wildshapes into a stoat. Percival Polymorphs Vurguron. Ryltar Polymorphs himself.

Selling Stoats

Percival walks down the hallway, calling out in Thieves' Cant, "Friend!"

He comes around a corner and sees a burly leather man. He does a horrible Italian impression. The Thief is confused, asks what's this? Percival continues: "I assume you're the man of the house!"

The Thief gestures him forward, into a big room. "Ah, your reception hall, very beautiful!" There's a dias with a throne. There's lots of people milling around, and in one corner, there' Trevor! Trevor, who we left for dead in a well! Percival doesn't react, except to cough into his hand and Minor Illusion himself a shitty moustache.

Trevor stands up, shouts, "That's them!"

"Sorry sir, no stoat refunds."

"That's the one I was talking about."

"I've never met this man before!"

Trevor says that Percival attacked him in the sluice and the bar.

They ask how Percival got in, and he answers, "Through my Stoat Hole!"

"Very well," says the big man, "Kill him."

"You don't want to do anything reckless," says Percival, and steps back, opening his coat to reveal stoats.

Trevor shoots Percival with a light crossbow, for 7 piercing and 21 poison. And he fails the Con save, dropping Jerry's Polymorph.

  1. Round one. The Stoat Play is up. We Slow and Web and generally try to clean the rookies out of the room.
    1. Blue, White, and Black Thieves attack Jerry. The first attack crits, for 7 piercing, second misses. Third lands, fourth hits. Fifth and sixth miss. Total 5 damage.
    2. Sige Hardfell, leader of the Thieves here, stands from his throne, and commands the room: "Harrakon!"
    3. The Brown Enforcer pummels Percival, who Cutting Words them for a bit more.
    4. A shrill sound fills the air, and no one loses concentration. Bugfood drops concentration on Vurguron's stoatedness, and he reappears.
    5. Trevor attacks Percival and misses. Percival dodges nicely.
    6. Vurguron swaps his place with Percival. Then he Action Surges, attacks Brown several times.
    7. Ryltar unstoats himself, and lands up the hallway. He casts Slow on all the Thieves except Trevor. Sige succeeds. Brown, Red, Blue, White, and Black fail.
    8. Percival casts Fireball at fourth level. Blue, Red, White, and Black Die. Then he enables his Living Armor.
    9. Jerry casts Web and moves into the room.
    10. Bugfood, still as a stoat, goes to bite Brown.
  2. Round 2. More Thieves enter; the Thieves' leader is a pain. The Web catches fire, and is helped along by a Fireball.
    1. New dudes enter: Green, White, Black, Red, Blue. They used their entire move to get here.
    2. Sige uses a legendary action to escape restraint.
    3. Sige stabs Jerry twice, for one hit and 12 poison and 7 piercing.
    4. Brown stabs Vurguron, slowed, and misses.
    5. Jerry and Vurguron make dex saves as bursts of fire. Jerry takes 3 points of fire damage and Vurguron take 9 halved to 5. Lair trap action! Jerry takes 4 from burning web.
    6. Trevor moves through the web, makes one attack against Jerry, and misses.
    7. Vurguron attacks Brown a bunch.
    8. Percival holds Fireball until Jerry gets out of the way.
    9. Legendary action, Sige stabs Jerry. Percival Cutting Words and Sige misses.
    10. Jerry stabs Sige for 8 reduced to 4, then shoves Red down the hall a bit and gets out of the square of the room.
    11. Given the choice between Jerry and Vurguron, Percival' Fireball hits Vurguron, killing Brown. 32 reduced to 16 on half, which for Vururon is halved by resistance to 8. The web burns up, dealing an additional 5. to Green and White.
    12. Trevor is still slowed. Bugfood climbs up his pant leg.
  3. Round 3. The fight congeals around Jerry and Vurguron. Seig corners Jerry and is cornered in turn, before being killed by a stoat.
    1. Red stabs Jerry, and she is again saved by the Heartkeeper plate, for 17 piercing. Red misses an attack on Ryltar.
    2. Blue double-moves up to Vurguron. Black moves to Vurguron and makes two attacks, neither of which connects.
    3. Sige moves to behind Jerry, gaining advantage from Red. She takes enough damage to reduce her to 25/129.
    4. Jerry becomes restrained by a lair trap. Vurguron escapes.
    5. Trevor pokes Jerry, but misses.
    6. Vurguron kills Blue and Black. He rushes across the room to flank Sige, and attacks with advantage — but Sige uses his Uncanny Dodge to halve damage to 5.
    7. Sige uses his legendary action to stab, with advantage, with a 22 to hit — Cutting Words and he misses.
    8. Ryltar reenters the room. He casts Mental Prison on Sige for 5d10, but he's immune to being charmed, so the spell's move feature doesn't kick in. 28 psychic.
    9. Sige runs down a side passage.
    10. Percival moves to where he can see Sige, and tries Hold Monster. Sige is out of resistances, and is held. Percival inspires Vurguron.
    11. Jerry stabs Red to trip Mobile, then stabs the restrained Sige for 35 on a crit with Orcish Fury.
    12. Bugfood heals Jerry for 20 HP + 6 temporary, and then runs over to bite Sige in the throat for 2 HP. Sige can't move, and dies. Bugfood squeaks. His white fur is crimson.
  4. Round 4: Trevor's brain melts.
    1. Red runs, shouting a command.
    2. Trevor shoots Percival for 9 piercing an 9 poison.
    3. Vurguron pursues Red, who is now on the other side of the door. Vurguron kills Red. He checks out the next room. He sees a barracks.
    4. Ryltar casts Mental Prison on Trevor. His brain melts directly out of his nose. Ryltar then shouts, trying to mimic any voice, "All Clear" in Cant.

We loot Sige:

And on Trevor:

"Well well well," says Bugfood, "Someone's been writing things down in a ledger."

Next session

Finish exploring? Drown?